Barbara's Excellent Adventure April 23, 2011

From Van

This phase of Barbara’s Excellent Adventure came to an end just after midnight, a few minutes into Saturday, April 23, 2011. She died peacefully, surrounded by me, her three children, (Dr.) Angie Chen, Laurel Leone, and Jeff Sawastuk. As the end approached, we sat in vigil in the candle-lit living room, scented with fragrance of mock orange from the garden and with some of her favorite music softly playing. Her sister Portia arrived shortly after her passing.

During the final weeks of her illness, Barbara became more and more purely what she most was: a being of wonder, affirmation, gratitude, and love.

A memorial celebration of Barbara’s life is being planned for a future date. When available, information will be posted here. Her ashes will be interred in the family cemetery plot in Austin, Minnesota, where in due course I will join her.

Update from Van for Monday 4/18/11

Again time has passed, the days slipping by insensibly, poignantly. Slow, noticeable physical weakening; spirit as sweet as ever but wandering further afield. Jeff, the creator of our garden, is here now for a couple of weeks of work and companionship.

Update from Van for Thursday 4/7/11

It has been some days since the last entry. As you may have inferred, Barbara remains much as before--comfortable almost all the time, perhaps a little weaker, but still quite present and engaged when she's awake. Her spirit continues to astonish those around her: no shred of self-pity, no complaining, still experiencing what wants to happen. As Kenny Hall put it, "Barbara has her house in order." This is the most deeply felt experience of my life by far.

2 beautiful photos of Barbara from the weekend

Reading The Book of Common Prayer on Saturday.

Having a visit with her beloved Loden on Thursday,

"that sunny warm day with the windows wide open

and the spring aromas wafting in..." (Angie)

Report for March 30th

Report for March 30th (or 79.5 + 4, according to Betsy Gifford's dating suggestion): holding steady here.

Update from Van for Sun Mar 27

It's Sunday morning, March 27 as I write this. "Renaissance" is not precisely the right word, but for the last few days, it feels something like that. There have been longer and longer periods of lucidity, engagement, and expressions of that loving, positive spirit Barbara so embodies. Very little pain or other discomfort. Even some slight return of appetite and the sweet feel of flavor on her tongue. She's slept well the last two nights and naps during the day, but often, when apparently asleep, she's hearing almost everything we say, opening her eyes and murmuring, "No, you're not remembering that right."

The formidable Laurel (webmaster for this blog, and much else beside) calculated that yesterday, March 26, was exactly Barbara's 79.5 birthday, a factoid none of the rest of us would have ever thought to calculate. A lovely, lively birthday party ensued--eight of us and Barbara beaming at the center. The pictures don't say it all but they say a lot. In additional serendipity, one of our dearest, oldest friends, Paul Ivory, called from Australia, and the edges of long separation were drawn once again closer together. Her harpsichord teacher, Kathy Perl, will play for her later today.

Update from Van for Wednesday 3/23

It's mid-morning of March 23, and I haven't posted for a couple of days. Barbara remains in the holding pattern of recent days--comfortable and composed most of the time, drowsy or sleeping a good deal, lucid and present when she's awake. Each day has also had its moments of low vitality when she and we thought the end might be imminent, but then she sleeps, opens her eyes, smiles, and talks to us.