Second and Third Week of Waiting

My life is continuing so normally - I forget that I'm in a waiting-to-see mode. My friend and surrogate son, Jeff, who has been here for the last two weeks, accused me of faking this "supposed" illness. We had as good a time as ever hanging out, cooking, chatting, watching movies, and, most importantly, refreshing the garden. Jeff came into our lives about twenty-six years ago and taught me everything I know about gardening (with all the metaphors for life), while making beautiful gardens for us year after year. About twelve years ago, he relocated to Seattle but continued to come down once or twice a year to care for those of us, and our gardens, left bereft in his absence. When he comes, it's as if the plants know that he's here - they wake up and clamor for his attention. Everybody (the plants and I) feel rejuvenated by his presence. Missing in this wonderful mix, however, was Van. We had to get along without his remarkable insights, questions, suggestions, and humor. I even missed our gardening arguments, which Jeff is masterful at mediating. Van will be returning from his China trip on Tuesday, the day the weather is supposed to change. I was hoping he'd arrive on a day as beautiful as those we're having this weekend.

Like the weather, there are occasional clouds. I got a call requesting that I schedule a CT scan. I was surprised because the radiation results won't be reliable for another couple of months. Apparently, this one is to see whether the cancer has appeared anywhere else. Today, I attended a seminar about Professional Wills, something I've been procrastinating about for 30 years. Now it seems urgent. I will pay "right attention" to these cloudy issues, while basking in the sunshine of music, the poetry of Sri Aurobindo, and the outreaches from all of you - soup from Gretty, memories from Dean, an upcoming visit from long-lost Glenn - keep 'em coming!