Barbara has asked me to post onto her blog several emails I've sent to my own list of Barbara 'fans' over the past month. Here's #4 ... Laurel
I've had the joy to 'hang out' with Barbara (and Van) some this weekend. She embarked on two outings, the highpoint of which was an all-Bach organ concert by Jim Welch at the Santa Clara Mission yesterday. (Jim is an old family friend, even knew Barbara's dad, who was also an organist.) "It filled my soul, reminded me of who I am and what is needed here."
Barbara is increasingly uncomfortable and is experiencing some pain. She says that, if you want to visit, she'd enjoy your bringing some favorite prose or poetry to read to her, or your favorite classical music to listen to with her. She says "I LOVE being introduced to new music! I am learning to the end."
It's also fine to just visit, this was just an idea she wanted me to communicate. Barbara & Van could also use some LIGHT, SMALL meals (unless freezable in small portions, in which case larger quantities are OK). They have tremendously appreciated and enjoyed the many, many gifts of food over the past weeks.
One more thing: we have been 'on her case' about apologizing for being a nuisance. I have her explicit permission to 'blow her cover' on this--we can all unite in not letting her get away with apologizing, as we universally consider it a privilege and honor to be able to help her and Van in any way we can.
SCHEDULE-WISE: Please call after 9am and before 9pm; home phone number is best: 650-328-1932. Reminder that daughter Betsy will be visiting from Minnesota this Thursday noon through Sunday noon.
I also wanted to pass on Angie Chen's comments, which I do with her permission (from an email she sent Feb 21):
"Based on my experience, I wanted to cast a different light and expand on Barbara's condition: she is living wonderfully and fully in her process and has been remarkably active. Not many of my former cancer patients on hospice have had the opportunity to actually take advantage of the full spectrum of being on hospice. She is really preparing to die. Most folks just--die. Many Buddhist teachers mention that most of us never really prepare for death, but the only thing certain in life is death! As we are all dying from the moment of birth, just at different rates and trajectories.
Barbara is doing very well. She is living so deeply. Soaking it all in!
With the chemotherapy discontinued and demands of work reduced, as well as with the miracle drug called oxygen, her energy is very good given the aggressiveness of her disease.
The amount of morphine she is using is minimal and her mind is alert and clear.
She has mentioned that she welcomes calls and will let people know when she is tired... I wanted to emphasize the more engaged parts of Barbara at this time rather than the often associated cloistered parts of hospice."
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